Fear is a Liar

It’s been a while since I posted a blog. Mainly because we’ve been busy moving in to our new home which is a blessing on it’s own, we also renovated the kitchen, Connor started going to a new school, teaching him how to drive, and so on. In short, Life happens. But if you notice, these are all good things so why did I dragged my feet writing another blog? FEAR.

My scan from 3 months ago showed that I have no sign of tumors. It doesn’t mean that I am technically cancer free because I carry a gene that is broken. I started re-taking my oral chemo which has been problematic because of all the side effects. My oncologist and I decided to pause the intake until they can find a better solution, another pill to take with manageable side effects.

Fear and anxiety creeps in every once in a while, I try to nip it in the butt as soon as I recognize it but I’m not always successful. Mind is such a powerful part of a human body. It can lead someone to greatness, mediocrity or destruction. What you feed into your mind will produce fruits, so be aware and careful on what you see or listen to. Remember the song “Be careful little eyes what you see? And be careful little ears what you hear”? So simple yet true.

My mind has been filled with thoughts and ideas for my blog but the devil kept wanting me to shut up so he instills fears and doubts and he tries to put salt into my wounds. My fear is cancer re-lapse/recurrence. My fear is that I wouldn’t be here on earth for too long enough to grow old with my husband and to see my kids settle and have their own family. My fear is that after I wrote encouraging words to uplift others and remind them of God’s promises that I would get slapped on the face with another heart wrenching news about my health and tumble down the hill of sorrows.

That is exactly what the enemy wants us- alone, afraid, defeated. Alone with our tangled thoughts. Believing his lies to be more like truths. Separated and silenced. He knows if we are isolated that it is easier to confuse us, deceive us, intimidate us, and make us believe that being idle and quiet is the way to go instead of seeking help and wisdom from Godly brothers and sisters.

Being afraid, sad, lonely and all the negative emotions out there are normal. As long as you know not to camp there. The bible says about a time for everything.

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1-8‬ ‭NLT‬‬http://bible.com/116/ecc.3.1-8.nlt

Let me end with this, God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. No matter what is in front of you, you can do all things with Christ who strengthens you. Clean up your mind, declutter, and start seeking the Lord for directions. He is faithful.

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